It was my birthday and for the first time in my life I allowed my friends to take me out and we had a great time,I then decided to end the day with my boyfriend at the time.Four drunk and high guys came out of nowhere,next thing I knew my jeans were torn and my panties halfway my legs.
I tried screaming but to no avail because they were choking the life out of me.They took turns while my boyfriend laid there like a life-less body and when they were all satisfied they poured liquor over my genitals which made me feel like a dirty prostitute.
I wasn’t ready to be labelled as an attention-seeker because my community reckoned I asked for it since I was drunk and all.I wasn’t ready to retell that story to an unfeeling detective who,quite frankly,did not care about or understood what I went through.I wasn’t ready for the “ooh shame” stares and I certainly wasn’t ready for my story to be dubbed as a losing case because there just “wasn’t enough evidence”.A year and a few months down the line I am glad I didn’t because I am healing on my own terms.
If you are rape survivor and need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to call the ‘Stop Gender Violence‘ helpline at 0800 150 150.
Note: Rape myths abound after the Vavi rape accusation was brought to light. These myths hurt all rape survivors – and if you ever experience sexual violence, these myths will hurt you too. The most common myth I’ve seen is the fallacy that if you don’t report to the police, it didn’t happen. (See here.) I put out a call on Twitter for survivors who didn’t report to send me their story. To follow the series, see here.
If you would like to include your story in this conversation, please email me: michelle at journoactivist dot com. I will assume anonymity for all submissions unless specified otherwise.