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Tag: rape myths

My rape as “alleged”

Here are some lovely examples of victimisation and rape culture online. I haven’t written about this much lately, but I thought I’d share the latest developments without going into it in-depth today.

Who “let’s rape happen” in South Africa? [TRIGGER WARNING]

Following the Vavi rape accusation South Africans have questioned the validity of claims of rape where the victim or survivor has not opened a case with the police. This, despite the fact that it is well-documented that rape is vastly under-reported. When confronted with this evidence, many South Africans respond that it is the duty of the rape survivor to report to the police, to take the matter to court and, once there, find justice.

Why she didn’t report her rape – “RIP, you crazy Diamond” #31

I met the mother of my son in the early 1980’s during the height of all the apartheid nastiness and bullshit.

Why I didn’t report my sexual abuse #17

I was 7 years old.

Why I didn’t report my rape #5

I had incredibly low self esteem as a child and teenager, my family had moved around a lot and I always felt like an outsider. I had had one very brief, naive relationship, and wasn’t really sure how to go about dating, but I was very lonely, and desperate for someone to take an interest in me in the hopes it would somehow validate my existence. A 19 year old who worked as a waiter where I also worked seemed to take an interest in me.

Why I didn’t report #4

That’s the last bit I remember. A few hours later I woke up in his arms. He was asleep. I was fully dressed, thank God. However, I kept wondering what he had been doing to me while I was asleep. I wanted to throw up. I really hated the guy, and no matter how drunk, I could not imagine getting in this situation willingly.

Why I didn’t report my rape #2

I was a 21 year old student when I was raped. A guy I had known for a few months, spent a lot of time with violated me. He wanted us to see each other on a more bf/gf sense but I wasn’t interested in him. Nonetheless we continued the friendship my friends I knew… Read More ›

Why I didn’t report my rape #1

Note: Less than a day after news was broken of an allegation of rape against Cosatu general secretary Zwelinzima Vavi and vicious rape myths are already circulating in public discourse. These myths hurt all rape survivors. The most common myth I have picked up so far is that fallacy that, because Vavi’s accuser has not opened a police case, she must be lying. I put out a call on Twitter for survivors who didn’t report to send me their story. I will be publishing them as they come in.