Journalist. Writer. Researcher. Editor.

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Why I didn’t report #34 – he was my boyfriend of over a year

I didn’t report my rape because I didn’t say no and I thought that made it my fault. I thought no one would believe that I said no with my body when I froze and couldn’t speak. I also didn’t think people would believe I let me boyfriend of over a year rape me because “rape doesn’t happen in relationships”, right?

Why I didn’t report my rape #32

When I was a full time student at the University of Durban Westville I had a gap in my time table that allowed me to have a nice long swim once a week. The walk from the swimming pool back to main campus was a lot of uphill so I would often just stay in… Read More ›

I reported our rapes – and no one believed us. I didn’t report the second #29

I am a rape survivor.  I reported it the first time went to court and the accused was released due to a lack of evidence.

Why I didn’t report my rape #23

I was on a camping trip with friends and sharing a tent with my boyfriend. I said no, he ignored me.

Why I didn’t report my rape #21

When it comes to being a victim, I am a rapist’s delight.

Why I didn’t report my rape #22

Because I don’t believe sending someone to prison is going to help me heal.

Why I didn’t report my rape #20

I didn’t report my rape because I don’t know if it happened.

Why I didn’t report my rape #19

I didn’t and still haven’t reported my rape, and never will.

Why I didn’t report my rape #14

I didn’t report my rape, because to this day – almost seven years later – I still flip-flop between whether or not it was actually “rape”. It’s funny, if it had happened to anybody else, I probably would say that it was a rape. But because it’s me, well… Anybody who knows me knows that I blame myself for everything. And that night I knew what I was doing, up until a point – I thought I had control of the situation, until I clearly didn’t.

Why I didn’t report my rape #13

I was raped at four years old by an “uncle”.

Why I didn’t report my rape #12

X is my cousins best friend. We got together at my cousins 21st many years ago, and dated for about a year. I called it off, for a variety of reasons, the most important being that I knew he wasn’t someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I knew that he felt differently.

Why I didn’t report my rape #10

I have never told a soul, except for my GP who I saw the next day for HIV tests etc

I reported my rape – and was victimised #9

Struck a cord. Difference is I did report. I walked into the police station after being beaten blue, nose swollen, blood all over my shirt from my nose, shorts in tatters from being ripped with a knife, one eye blue and swollen closed. And I was victimised by the police.

Why I didn’t report my rape #5

I had incredibly low self esteem as a child and teenager, my family had moved around a lot and I always felt like an outsider. I had had one very brief, naive relationship, and wasn’t really sure how to go about dating, but I was very lonely, and desperate for someone to take an interest in me in the hopes it would somehow validate my existence. A 19 year old who worked as a waiter where I also worked seemed to take an interest in me.

Why I didn’t report #4

That’s the last bit I remember. A few hours later I woke up in his arms. He was asleep. I was fully dressed, thank God. However, I kept wondering what he had been doing to me while I was asleep. I wanted to throw up. I really hated the guy, and no matter how drunk, I could not imagine getting in this situation willingly.