I didn’t report my rape, because to this day – almost seven years later – I still flip-flop between whether or not it was actually “rape”. It’s funny, if it had happened to anybody else, I probably would say that it was a rape. But because it’s me, well… Anybody who knows me knows that I blame myself for everything. And that night I knew what I was doing, up until a point – I thought I had control of the situation, until I clearly didn’t.
I wasn’t raped. He only fondled my private parts. Nothing thing to see here. Nothing to report. Only a fondle. Several on different occasions over the span of a year or so, actually. But it was nothing too invasive, or violent. Nothing too serious, right? So it felt ridiculous to make a big deal about it.
I knew I would be judged, I knew I would be blamed, I knew I would be ridiculed and called a liar and I never would have spoken out had it not been for my suicide attempt.
I was a 21 year old student when I was raped. A guy I had known for a few months, spent a lot of time with violated me. He wanted us to see each other on a more bf/gf sense but I wasn’t interested in him. Nonetheless we continued the friendship my friends I knew… Read More ›
Note: Less than a day after news was broken of an allegation of rape against Cosatu general secretary Zwelinzima Vavi and vicious rape myths are already circulating in public discourse. These myths hurt all rape survivors. The most common myth I have picked up so far is that fallacy that, because Vavi’s accuser has not opened a police case, she must be lying. I put out a call on Twitter for survivors who didn’t report to send me their story. I will be publishing them as they come in.
This morning the Weekend Post broke the news that Cosatu secretary-general Zwelinzima Vavi has been accused of rape by an unknown woman. The story quickly spread across social media as various news organisations ran their own versions of the recent allegations to plague the beleaguered (and often controversial) Vavi. Journalists’ coverage of the allegation have brought up ethical questions around the reporting of sexual violence.